OUR TIME WILL COME

As children, we’re told that in order to become successful in life, you need to go to school, go to college, get your masters, and get a well paying job. You’re expected to go to school and learn all the things that don’t interest you before getting shipped off to college, where you finally get to choose to learn what you’re interested in. Then, if you’re lucky, get a job right off the bat in the field that you’ve always wanted to work in.

Well, spoiler alert, that doesn’t always happen.

As a teenager, you’re just dying to finally get to the point where you can do whatever the hell it is you want to do without anyone being able to do or say anything about it. I mean, someone can say something, but that never really stops you from doing something you want… unless it does. But then, the years continue on and without realizing it, you’re officially an adult. The stage where you don’t know what the hell it is to be an adult, but having to do adult things. Like pay the bills, find an apartment you can afford, or if you’re in my position, work a job you don’t like.

The thing with working a job you don’t particularly like is that at first, you don’t even realize you don’t like it. When you start, it’s fun and exciting. Something new. An experience that you won’t get anywhere else. You’ll learn something beneficial and prepare for the next chapter in life- you know, the one where you quit to go work at a better paying and more fun job, again, if you’re lucky.

Last year, I had the opportunity to intern at my dream job. It was the experience of a lifetime. I woke up everyday ready for the next, excited for the next day to come and see what new assignment was being given to me. That feeling of pure joy and excitement was the most amazing thing I have ever felt in my life. I was FINALLY doing what I loved and I never wanted it to end.

But it did.

The full-on experience was shortened when covid-19 became a thing. Luckily, the company had us work remotely, but it wasn’t the same. No one really knew what to do or how to go about this new situation. There was no game plan set in place. It was just a big question mark. Like everyone else in the world, we were unprepared.

A couple months later, I started working in property management, a job I just took as a temporary gig, till things got better with Covid… it didn’t.

At first, it was cool. A little scary since, living in the city and all during Covid, I was no longer used to taking public transportation everyday. I was learning something completely new and as time went on, I became well aware on how beneficial this job was for me and my future endeavors of being an “adult” (I’m still a kid, let me be).

But then, as the months went by, I started to work full-time. One year later, although I do not regret taking this job, I find myself dreading each day to come.

Like so many others around the globe, the year of 2020 was the longest year ever, but also such a blur. We lost so many people. And now everyone is struggling mentally, one way or another. Personally, I don’t really recognize myself anymore. The things I was once able to do, I can’t anymore.

That feeling of waking up and being excited for a new day is no longer in me. I long for that feeling again. I want so badly to feel that again. I hate feeling the way I do now. I’m someone who really tries to keep up my spirits and not have a negative cloud over my head, but sometimes its really hard not to. I wake up everyday, hoping that soon I will finally get the opportunity to work for a company that I completely love and support and just have that feeling of a full heart again.

I’m so grateful to say that I have a job and that I’m able to get some kind of money in my pockets, but to say that I am completely content and satisfied with where I am right now would be the biggest lie to have ever come out of my mouth- and you guys, I am a HORRIBLE liar.

I guess where I’m trying to go with all of this is that if you’re also feeling this way, it’s safe to say you’re not alone. There are so many people who feel the same exact way. And I know it sounds cheesy and all, but all there’s left to do is push ourselves and strive to get to where we want to be.

Eventually, our time will come.